Freshman lawmakers, don't do this

Washington (CNN) -- Welcome to Washington, freshman lawmakers!

Mia Love is the first Republican African American woman ever elected in Congress. She will now represent Utah's District 2 in the House.

Following a highly contested senate race, Rep. Tom Cotton managed to unseat Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor. He is the first Iraq and Afghanistan War veteran to serve in the Senate.

New York Republican Elise Stefanik just became the youngest woman ever elected in Congress. The 30 year old beat Democrat Aaron Wolf with a 20 percentage point margin.

Republican Joni Ernst won the Iowa Senate seat, which formerly belonged to her Democratic challenger Bruce Braley. She is the first woman to represent Iowa in the U.S. Senate.

David Rouzer became the first Republican in 140 years to represent North Carolina's District 7. He formerly served as a state legislator and lobbyist.

After a highly contested senate race, Rep. Cory Gardner pushed ahead of Democratic incumbent Sen. Mark Udall.

In one of the few Democratic takeovers, Gwen Graham unseated two-term Republican Rep. Steve Southerland. She is the first woman to represent Florida's District 2 in the House.

Republican Thom Tillis managed to edge ahead of North Carolina Democratic incumbent Sen. Kay Hagan following an aggresive neck-and-neck senate race.

Rep. Shelley Moore Capito became West Virginia's first female senator after defeating Democrat Natalie Tennant on Tuesday. She is also the first Republican elected to the Senate in over 55 years.

Mike Bost, known for his fiery rants as an Illinois state legislator, will now represent District 12 in the U.S. House of Representatives.

After losing his reelection two years ago, Republican Bob Dold will be heading back to D.C. representing Illinois' 11th District.

After serving as senator for New York's District 1 since 2002, Republican Lee Zeldin will represent the Long Island district on the national level.

Former South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds defeat his Democratic and Independent challengers for the state's open senate seat.

Will Hurd, a former CIA officer, defeated incumbent Democrati Rep. Pete Gallego in Texas 23rd Congressional District race.

Republican Cresent Hardy unexpectedly pulled ahead of Democratic Rep. Steven Horsford, unseating the first term representative in Nevada's 4th District.

Republican Rob Blum has gone from businessman to holding public office after he won Iowa's 1st Congressional District race.

Rep. Steve Daines has become the first Republican to represent Montana in the U.S. Senate after Democrats controlled that seat for over a century. Daines, a former businessman, was elected to the House in 2012.

Republican businessman Rick Allen ousted Democratic incumbent Rep. John Barrow from his Georgia District 12 seat.

Republican Frank Guinta ousted Rep. Carol Shea-Porter in New Hampshire's 1st District. He formerly served as mayor of Manchester, NH.

Republican John Katko's recent surge in the polls managed to lead him to victory in New York's 24th Congressional District. He unseated Democratic incumbent Rep. Dan Maffei.

Republican Carlos Curbelo flipped a South Florida Democratic Congressional District. Curbelo managed to beat Democratic first- term incumbent Jose Garcia.

West Virginia State Sen. Evan Jenkins unseated Democratic incumbent Nick Rahall, who has represented District 3 for three decades.

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New members of Congress

Historic firsts for the GOP

By now you and your colleagues are settling in for the first days of your week-long official orientation session. You're learning so many exciting things about the new job and probably getting plenty of helpful advice.

We hope you paid particularly close attention Friday morning during your breakfast panel, "If I Knew Then What I Know Now" and plan to attend your ethics briefing on Monday. Here are the links to the 456-page House Ethics Manual and the 530-page Senate Ethics Manual, by the way.

History, alas, suggests that not everyone heeds the wisdom imparted upon them during these important meetings.

So, in case you zoned out during orientation or haven't made it through the ethics manual, we wanted to offer some advice of our own.

Here's a list of helpful tips inspired by some of the past (and still current!) colleagues of your esteemed chamber.

Don't post pictures of your underwear on Twitter.

Don't send kinky messages to underage page boys from your office computer.

Don't make out with members of your staff in front of security cameras.

Don't try to buy drugs off undercover police officers in Dupont Circle.

Don't sit with a wide stance while visiting the bathroom stall at the Minneapolis Airport.

Don't include pictures of your face while soliciting sex from random women on Craigslist during the annual party retreat.

Don't get caught with a stripper near the Tidal Basin.

Don't threaten to break reporters in half and throw them over a balcony in front of a news camera.

Best of luck to the 114th Congress.