My life as a little person

Cara Reedy says she has learned to stop internalizing her anger and to direct it outward.

• Cara Reedy was born with achondroplastic dwarfism


• She says that little people are often treated as less than human


• Reedy's family protected her but never let her hide from the world


• Tired of strangers' inappropriate reactions, she decided to speak up

Editor's note: First Person is a new series of personal essays exploring identity and personal points of view that shape who we are. The first contributor is Cara Reedy, a senior administrative assistant for CNN Money. She writes and performs comedy about her life in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn.

(CNN) -- From the moment I was born, people around me were saying, "Oh, God."

The nurse exclaimed it when I finally arrived, a month late (a habit I have kept). That's how my parents found out that I was a little person, a dwarf, of short stature. They were shocked and upset, knowing that my life would be hard. My maternal grandfather told my mother, "I don't care how tall she is, she's my first granddaughter, and she's pretty. "

They didn't find out I had achondroplastic dwarfism until a few months later. "Achondroplasia" is a word that haunted me in my childhood. I never wanted to hear it. It wasn't who I was. I was not different.

According to a 2009 report by Richard M. Pauli from the Midwest Regional Bone Dysplasia Clinics, achondroplasia happens 1 in every 25,000 births. It doesn't really matter how often it happens, we happened, and we're here.

My brother is as big as I am small and has been my protector from day one. He made it possible for me to live whatever life I choose. My parents grew up during the civil rights movement. They and their siblings were the only black kids at their respective Catholic schools in middle America. They were treated as subpar. While they were allowed in, they weren't allowed to fully participate. They were denied equal treatment. The indignities they endured are too many to list. My parents made sure my brother and I participated in whatever we wanted.

My family cares for me and at the same time has never shielded me from the world. That's how they raised me. I am Cara. Expectations are not lowered. We can talk about it whenever I need to, but I have not been allowed to hide.

Attack of the 4'2" chef

Even so, living as a little person is like being the main attraction at the circus every day of my life. Going grocery shopping, getting tampons at the drugstore -- it's like being a celebrity, and the whole world is my paparazzi. The tag line of my blog, Infamously Short, is "celebrity without fame or money," and that's pretty accurate.

I don't believe anonymity is achievable for me. That can make a person a little crazy. And angry.

When I was a child, I used to walk into public places and scan the room to figure out who would be the first to say something. Inevitably, they did. Most of the time it was "Isn't she cute?" But sometimes it was more cruel. Deeper. Darker.

First competitive dwarf body builder?

A boxer at Ringside bar in Manila's Makati district takes off his gloves after a bout.

Alejandro Doron says he came from the provinces to find work in Manila.

Boxers pose with bar staff at the Ringside bar in Manila's Makati district.

Employment opportunities are often limited in the Philippines for people with dwarfism.

A group of 30 people with dwarfism say they plan to build their own community outside Manila.

Photos: A place of their own

'Films lack actors with disabilities'

They hold their hands over their mouths and laugh, trying to look away but also alert their friends. They whisper, "There's a midget."

When I make eye contact, they look away and try to hold in their laughter. I can read lips. It's from a lifetime of watching people mouth "midget." There are times when they don't even pretend to hide their ridicule. Walking in a mall, I pass a store. Someone spots me and then brings their whole family to stand in the store window to laugh and jeer.

My existence is a joke to them. When these people refer to little people, they often say, "Look at it."

Little people, big top

To them, I am not even human. I'm a different species. It's even used in a clinical capacity. In medical journals, the language is something like "this male dwarf." Do they say "this male autistic" or "this female cerebral palsy"? The answer is no, it's always "this person" with "fill in the condition."

When I was a child, I used to internalize the torment. Outwardly, I was stoic. I pretended it wasn't happening. Inside, I was crying and wishing I was someone else. It shaped how I felt about myself. I was often the target of bullies in school and felt prejudice from some of my teachers. They never outwardly said anything, but they made it difficult to participate in activities. I also had some wonderful teachers who cheered me on, even when I was being lazy.

I played basketball in grade school, not very well, but I tried. The coach, Mr. Sweeney, worked out plays so that I could score. I took dance, something to which I was much more suited. Mrs. Wren required I work as hard or harder as the other girls. She showed me how to be graceful in a body that is typically not regarded as graceful.

I have always been a bit of a drifter searching for a new adventure. When I was 12, I went to India, and it changed my life. I was gone almost a month and was at least three travel days away from my parents. I was scared, exhilarated and free. That trip set the tone for my life.

From the age of 18 to 27, I lived in six cities and moved eight times. During that time, I got three degrees: in political science, theater and photography. I couldn't decide what I wanted to be when I grew up -- or, more accurately, I had a hard time figuring out what the world would allow me to be. When I moved to New York to start work as a photographer, I finally had to face why I had been running: I am a little person.

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Manila's little people seek their own community

Coming to terms with being a little person has been a long process, complicated by the world's prejudice. I don't wake up every morning and think "Oh, woe is me, I am a little person." I wake up and get on with my day. (My first thought is usually "Oh, no, I am late again.") I fly out of the house in whatever outfit I have cobbled together, grab breakfast at the bodega and check my email while rushing to the subway. As each moment passes, I calculate how many minutes I am going to be late.

But, like a kick in the chest, I am startled, because someone interrupts my morning routine by pointing, laughing or taking a picture. I am no longer just Cara, the free-spirited comedian who has trouble getting to work on time. I am the little person who deserves ridicule. I'm late to work, running with a body that doesn't have the greatest leg span, praying that the A train is working, and now I have to interact with someone who thinks my mere existence on this planet is a joke. It's a fantastic way to start a day.

Within the past 10 years, I have stopped internalizing my anger and started directing it outward, where it belongs. Why should I put up with the taunting, the picture-taking, the inappropriate sexual propositions on a daily basis just because I am different externally? The answer is: I shouldn't.

I have different levels of response to people's reactions.

If someone laughs, I ask, "What's funny?" Most of the time people say, "Nothing, nothing," and then run off in embarrassment.

If people use the word "midget," I say, "It's called dwarfism. Don't use that word."

Then there are the sexual deviants. Men approach me in the street and start conversations with "I want to try it. Sex with you would be different."

I yell back, "I am not a sampler platter, no." They respond with an indignant "I just want to try it. It would be fun. You don't have to get nasty."

That's what I hear whenever I defend myself. Apparently, I am supposed to take it. I am supposed to suck it up.

One of my friends says, "Cara is always trying to prove she's normal." I am normal. I have the same thoughts, feelings and desires. The world treats me as if there is something wrong with me. It took me a while not to trust the world's opinion.

2 troopers ambushed; 1 dies

• Police offer a $50,000 reward to help find suspects


• Police have named the two officers shot in an ambush


• One trooper died from gunshot wounds, the other is in stable but critical condition

(CNN) -- Two Pennsylvania State Police troopers shot late Friday, one fatally, were ambushed just outside the police barracks in Blooming Grove, Commissioner Frank Noonan told reporters.

Cpl. Bryon K. Dickson was killed and Trooper Alex T. Douglass was in stable but critical condition, Noonan said Saturday.

The shooting happened at 10:50 p.m. Friday in a rural, wooded area.

"It cuts us to the core that such an event could happen," Noonan said. "[They] really had no chance to defend themselves. It's a cowardly attack."

Dickson and Douglass were young troopers with families. Dickson previously served at the Philadelphia barracks, according to Noonan.

"Every attack on an officer of the law is an attack on our state, our country and civilized society," Gov. Tom Corbett said in a statement. Corbett ordered that all state flags in the Capitol complex and at commonwealth facilities in Pike County fly at half-staff to honor Dickson.

Hear PA troopers harrowing 911 call

1 trooper dead in barracks shooting

Investigators were interviewing a "person of interest" Saturday morning, but no arrests had been made, spokeswoman Trooper Connie Devens said.

Noonan stressed that police would be interviewing "hundreds" of people.

Earlier, Noonan said police had no description of the shooter or any information about the motive.

"This attack seems to be directed particularly at the Pennsylvania State Police," Noonan said, but warned that residents should be careful.

"Until we have this person in custody, obviously everyone should be cautious and aware that there is a dangerous criminal on the loose," he said.

Police from New York, New Jersey and throughout the Northeast are assisting in the search, Noonan said.

Pennsylvania State Police are offering a $50,000 reward for information that would help lead to the arrest and conviction of an individual responsible for the shooting.

2 officers from 'Alaska State Troopers' killed in confrontation

CNN's Joe Sutton, Mayra Cuevas and Carma Hassan contributed to this report

6 surreal subterranean bars

A set of two century-old 35-ton doors lead to the former underground vaults of the United States Realty Bank in New York. The first room of Trinity Place is a buzzy lounge area, while the second is a dining room.

Now a thriving club, art gallery, bar and live music venue in Prague, Parukarka used to be a nuclear bunker and has one strange stipulation. Should Armageddon break out, the club must be converted back to its original purpose within 48 hours.

In the heart of Bar More in Dubrovnik, you'll find rocky walls illuminated purple, stalagmites and stalactites, glossy white bar counters and some serious mixology from the bartenders.

Once home to Berlin's ladies of the night, Madame Claude is now a warren of rooms with touches of surrealism including an upside down room, a wardrobe leading into a secret bar and a delightful "donate what you can afford" admission fee.

The usual vile environs of the London public toilet have been blown apart by this conversion of a Victorian underground convenience into Cellar Door -- a cabaret and burlesque bar.

• Trinity Place involves walking through a set of two century old 35-ton bank vault doors


• Descend two spiral staircases to enter Bunkr Parukarka, a nuclear bunker built by the Czech Communist party in the 1950s


• Bedfords Bar is located in one of Norwich's last surviving crypts

(CNN) -- There's no greater feeling of pre-drink excitement than hitting upon a secret den of cocktails, bonhomie and hedonism.

Heading beneath the surface into the bowels of a building adds a certain frisson to a bar experience.

Not only does a total lack of sunlight give one the excuse to stay until close to breakfast time, many of these subterranean bars have had bizarre former lives as nuclear bunkers and bank vaults.

Now, sensibly, they're devoted to the joys of imbibing.

Converted bank vault (Trinity Place, New York)

Deep underneath a typically Gotham City-esque Big Apple skyscraper in the heart of the financial district, gaining entrance to Trinity Place involves walking through a set of two century-old 35-ton doors, which lead to the former vaults of the United States Realty Bank.

The first room contains a buzzy lounge area and behind the second, a dining room which, according to owner Jason O'Brian, was once the private meeting room for the bank's executive board members.

Food is in a suitably mid-20th century "Mad Men" style -- there's steak tartare and lobster bisque along with high-end craft ales on tap including Smuttynose and Duvel.

Trinity Place , 115 Broadway, New York; +1 212 964 0939

There's still at least one WC in here, right?

Former underground public toilet (Cellar Door, London)

It's predictably tiny but the usual vile environs of the London public toilet have been blown apart by this conversion of a Victorian underground convenience into a cabaret and burlesque bar.

Holding just 60 people there's an array of oddities to discover including snuff tobacco available from the bar, opaque toilet doors which only frost over when locked and an SMS jukebox.

London bar and travel blogger Harriet Constable is a regular visitor here and says, "It's got a really loyal following of genuine London eccentrics who come here knowing they can be naughty and not have to deal with oppressive bouncers.

"It's amazing that somewhere this centrally located still has such a cult reputation -- it's been here a while but it's still an 'in the know' kind of spot."

Cellar Door , 0 Aldwych, London WC2E 7DN; +44 20 7240 8848

MORE: World's top underground tourist attractions

Cave (Bar More, Dubrovnik, Croatia)

Looking quite startlingly like the underground lair of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, this natural cave beneath the chichi Hotel More in Croatia's most beautiful city is a fabulous, strangely retro combination.

In the heart of it are precipitous rocky walls illuminated purple, stalagmites and stalactites, glossy white bar counters and some serious mixology from the bartenders.

Ask nicely and they might rustle up the "Crocktail" -- a Croatian specialty made with Zada Maraschino (a local liqueur), cherry juice, lemon juice and candied orange peel.

If the weather's good you can even ascend from the cave and drink it on the terrace above ground.

Bar More , Kardinala Stepinca 33, Dubrovnik; +385 020 494 200

If the world ends, best to go down drinking.

Nuclear bunker (Parukarka, Prague)

You'll struggle to find it when it's dark, but if you're in the Zizkov district of Prague on a weekend evening and you see a tiny doorway in the middle of a graffiti strewn concrete wall with the world "amigo" written on it, you've found one of the strangest clubs on (or under)Earth.

Down two spiral staircases you're in Bunkr Parukarka, a nuclear bunker built by the Czech Communist party in the 1950s.

"It would have been easier to destroy it and then rebuild it from scratch," says Michal Tesinsky, the man behind the three-year clean up job that turned this Cold war oddity into a thriving club, art gallery, bar and live music venue that can hold 250 Prague night owls.

Spookily however, over four fifths of the bunker complex still lies empty.

Stranger still is the fact that one of the stipulations of the use of this incredible space is that, should Armageddon break out, the club must be converted back to its original purpose within 48 hours.

Parukarka , Prague, +420 603 423 140

Former brothel (Madame Claude, Berlin)

This subterranean dive was once home to Berlin's notorious ladies of the night, who used this club to "serve" American soldiers in the period after World War II when the German capital was divided into zones controlled separately by the British, Americans, French and Russians.

Converted by three French school friends who all moved to the German capital, the bar is now a warren of rooms with Dali-esque touches of surrealism including an upside down room where tables and lamps hang from the ceiling, a wardrobe leading into a secret bar and a delightfully low admission fee on a "donate what you can afford" basis.

Entertainment veers towards the experimental and avant garde with regular DJ sets, open mic spoken word nights and even ping-pong contests.

Madame Claude , 19 Lubbener Street, Berlin; +49 30 8411 0859

MORE: 16 incredible rooftop bars

Former Crypt (Bedfords, Norwich, UK)

With its stone flagged floor and barrel vaulted ceiling, this bar and live music venue still bears the hallmarks of the 15th-century medieval crypt it once was.

Located in The Lanes, one of the most ancient parts of the historic market city of Norwich, the building upstairs is no spring chicken, constructed in the 17th century and formerly used as a Post Office.

Manager Jamie Jamieson, who has worked at Bedfords for 19 years says: "It's a beautiful space with lots of exposed original features. Every time I show people round they say 'wow.' It has all the old stonework and a vaulted ceiling."

Listed as an ancient monument, the crypt was once used as a creche for the children of the office workers in the main building -- enough to give any child nightmares.

Bombings during WWII meant that many of Norwich's crypts collapsed or were filled with rubble.

This is one of the few survivors, where you can find anything from a DJ night to a salsa dance class -- and even the odd wedding after-party.

Bedfords Bar , 1 Old Post Office Yard, Norwich, Norfolk NR2 1SL; +44 1603 666869

Rob Crossan is a freelance journalist and radio presenter based in Stockwell, South London.

Rebels release captive Ukrainian troops

• 73 Ukrainian troops are released by pro-Russian rebels in Donetsk


• President Petro Poroshenko talks about ceasefire violations with German leader


• As shelling continues, officials in Donetsk describe the situation as "critical"

(CNN) -- Pro-Russian rebels released dozens of captive Ukrainian troops Sunday as part of a ceasefire deal.

Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko said in a Twitter post that 73 troops were released in Donetsk.

But despite the ceasefire, violence continued to flare in the volatile region. As shelling rocked the city throughout the day Sunday, local officials described the situation as "critical."

Poroshenko spoke with German Chancellor Angela Merkel over concerns that the ceasefire deal -- brokered earlier this month -- is being violated. They "agreed to make further efforts to settle the situation peacefully," Poroshenko's office said in a statement.

In an interview with TV Tsentr pm Saturday, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said the truce agreed upon in Minsk, Belarus, appeared to be holding generally and that Moscow, at least, is ready to work toward a long-term peace.

"Sporadic exchanges of fire occur on both sides, but the process of establishing (a) durable peace is still in progress," he said, according to parts of that interview published by the state-run Itar-Tass news agency.

Sanders calls for political revolution

• Sen. Bernie Sanders is on a three-stop tour of Iowa, which raises presidential questions


• In Dubuque, Sanders calls for "a political revolution" and asks supporters to organize


• Sanders is in Iowa at the same time as Hillary Clinton, the 2016 favorite

Dubuque, Iowa (CNN) -- All the elements were there for low turnout: It was a beautiful, cloudless night, the Iowa-Iowa State game had just ended, and the state's critical place in presidential politics still felt years away for most Iowans.

But on Saturday night in Dubuque, Iowa, roughly 130 people showed up to see Independent Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont talk about elevating the middle class, nationalizing health care and fighting the degrading influence of money in politics.

And they didn't just listen -- they urged him to run for president in 2016.

"We need a political revolution in this country," Sanders said, to applause. "Politics is terribly important, and what happens in Washington and state capitals is also enormously important."

A largely older, markedly liberal audience listened to Sanders for over an hour inside the student center of the local university. Before the event started, attendees chatted about the senator coming to Dubuque and whether he was going to run for president. Many said they hoped so, mostly because they want a liberal option in the Democratic primary in 2016.

Sen. Bernie Sanders storms Iowa

Watch out Iowa, here comes Hillary

Romney for president in 2016?

"Everything he says speaks to me about who I am as an American, as a voter, as a middle-class voter," said Ann Bodnar-Donovan, who sat in the front row at the event. Others echoed her sentiment.

Sanders did not actually mention his presidential aspirations from the dais, but his event in Iowa -- along with town halls in Waterloo and Des Moines on Sunday -- made it clear that he is toying with a bid.

The final steak fry: Honoring Harkin with a large helping of politics

Sanders told CNN earlier last week that he was thinking about a run and was traveling to Iowa to "find out what kind of support there is for a progressive agenda." He won't say whether he would run as an Independent or a Democrat, but his supporters in Iowa clearly wanted him to run as a liberal Democrat.

Sanders was not the only potential 2016 candidate in Iowa this weekend. Hillary Clinton, the prohibitive front-runner for the nomination if she chooses to run, is headlining the Harkin Steak Fry in Des Moines on Sunday. It is her first event in the Hawkeye State in over six years.

Clinton's and Sanders' events couldn't be more different. The former secretary of state will speak to more than 5,000 people at an idyllic field south of Des Moines. Signs adorn every corner of the event, which will see over 2,500 pounds of steak grilled and served. The only signage for Sanders' event was a small piece of cardboard in front of the building that read "Bernie Sanders."

But Sanders is benefiting from Clinton. People at his event liked the fact he was courting Iowa despite Clinton's front-runner status and was willing to stand up and possibly challenge her from the left.

"I think the Democratic party needs to move a little bit to the liberal, progressive side," said Marcos Rubinstein, who organized Dennis Kucinich's 2008 Iowa campaign. "I want to hear him. Of course I like him, I know his history."

Before his speech, Sanders reflected on the third beheading of a Western individual by ISIS and President Barack Obama's authorization of military strikes in Syria.

Want to be president? Convince this guy

Harkin: 'The tea party has peaked'

Clinton on her 2016 timeline

"Clearly ISIS is a terrorist organization, a brutal organization, a dangerous organization," Sanders told CNN, before he quickly turned to a topic he is more comfortable about: the middle class and the economy. "In the midst of dealing with ISIS, it is absolutely imperative that we not ignore the huge problems facing the middle class and working families of this country."

The senator did devote a great deal of his speech to speaking about the future of the United States, including outlining a plan he called the "Agenda for America."

His first point was the most well-received: "We have got to restore the democracy to the United States of America by overturning this disastrous Citizens United Supreme Court decision. ... I do not believe that people fought and died for democracy so that billionaires can buy elections."

Sanders has become a champion of overturning the 2010 Citizens United ruling, which opened the floodgates for outside money in politics and ballooned the amount spent on campaigns. He spent the last week arguing as much from the Senate floor.

On health care, Sanders added that "the United States of America needs to join with the rest of the industrialized world and have a nationalized health care."

Sanders ended his speech with a call to action, urging attendees to begin a conversation and organize support in northeast Iowa for the issues he was addressing.

"Our job is to educate, is to organize, is to go outside our zone of comfort," he said. "We need to build coalitions."

Clinton tops Democrats in Iowa while Huckabee leads Republicans

Sanders challenges Hillary Clinton

Enterovirus moves into Northeast

• New York State Department of Health confirms cases of Enterovirus D68


• Enterovirus D68 seems to be causing breathing problems for children with asthma


• Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky and Missouri also have confirmed cases

For more on Enterovirus D68, watch "Sanjay Gupta, M.D." this Saturday at 4:30 p.m. ET and Sunday at 7:30 a.m. ET.

(CNN) -- More than a dozen cases of Enterovirus D68 have been confirmed in New York state, according to officials.

"EV-D68 is causing cases of severe respiratory illness ... sometimes resulting in hospitalization, especially among children with asthma," the NYS Department of Health said in a statement Friday.

Enteroviruses are quite common in September; the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates 10 to 15 million people are infected by these viruses each year. But doctors believe this particular type of enterovirus, Enterovirus D68, is causing more serious problems than others have in years past.

As of September 11, more than 80 cases in six other states -- Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky and Missouri -- have been confirmed to be EV-D68, according to the CDC.

New York is the first state in the Northeast with confirmed cases.

On Thursday, media reports of kids flooding ERs in Alabama and Washington state spoke to the spread of the virus. Other states, including Michigan, Georgia, Ohio, Oklahoma, and Utah, are also investigating clusters of respiratory illnesses. Several have sent samples to the CDC for testing.

New York sent additional samples from patients with severe respiratory illness to the CDC for confirmation of Enterovirus D68.

The virus is hard to track, as so many enteroviruses cause similar symptoms, and hospitals generally do not test for specific types.

Enteroviruses usually present like the common cold; symptoms include sneezing, a runny nose and a cough. Most people recover without any treatment. But if your child appears to be having trouble breathing, take him or her to a doctor right away.

"It is important that we follow common sense rules to prevent the spread of this virus, as we do for flu and other contagious illnesses," said New York acting State Health Commissioner Dr. Howard Zucker. "Because there is no specific treatment or vaccination against this virus, our best defense is to prevent it by practicing proper hygiene."

What parents should know

500 Germans cruise into port

THE cruise ship Deutschland docked at Almeria Port for the first time this week, bringing with it 500 passengers.

The liner stopped over in Almeria as part of an eight-day cruise from Lisbon to Palma de Mallorca, also calling in at Sevilla, Malaga and Alicante en route.

The predominantly German passengers were welcomed to the city of Almeria by the port authority. The president of the port authority said: “Almeria has the qualities to grow as a cruise port. From the port, we have been working for years in cooperation with tourist boards to add value to the tourism resources and the province of Almeria. It is important that we work on improving tourism to make it a more attractive Almeria for cruise lines.”

He added: “This effort will pay dividends in the number of passengers and in the strengthening

of the brand ‘Almeria’ as a cruise destination.”

When you're the only white person

Amanda Shaffer's entire world shifted when she became a white minority in a black high school.

• What happens when whites live in in a black world?


• White student at black school: Your vision shifts


• Some still can't define what being black means


• Why you should never say "I don't see color"

(CNN) -- Flip open Amanda Shaffer's high school yearbook, and you'll notice something that stands out even more than her classmates' earnest smiles and big hairdos.

Only a handful of white faces appear among the portraits of African-American students -- flecks of white on a canvas of black and brown. One of those faces belongs to Shaffer, who was bused to a black high school in Cleveland, Ohio, after refusing to follow her friends to a white, private academy.

For three years, Shaffer was the only white person in the room. She had to learn how to fit in, how to not say the wrong thing. She had to deal with the peculiar sensation of being the only white girl in the bleachers as jittery white basketball teams entered a raucous gym filled with black people.

"It shifted my point of view," Shaffer says. "It's like when you go to the optometrist, and they slap those new lenses on you -- you see the world differently."

At least some do. A co-owner of the NBA's Atlanta Hawks recently offered another perspective on race when he complained in an email that the presence of too many black fans at Hawks' games scared away Southern whites who are "not comfortable being in an arena or a bar where they are the minority."

Bruce Levenson, the owner, resigned. But the focus on his remarks ignored the perspective of people who actually have a lot of practice at being the only white person in a black crowd. They are whites who, by choice or necessity, lived in an all-black world. They became the white minority.

There's a long tradition in America of people offering unsolicited advice to racial minorities on how to blend in. But there's no instruction book for those who struggle with an experience that one white NBA player described as "the loneliness of being white in an all-black world."

It's not all racial angst, though, says one civil rights activist who left his all-white upbringing in Vermont to live for two years among black residents in Mississippi, where he discovered R&B singer Otis Redding, okra and black preaching.

"I lived in a completely black world; every couple of weeks, I looked in the mirror to remind myself that I was white," says Chris Williams, who was then an 18-year-old volunteer for a civil rights campaign known as Mississippi Freedom Summer.

Chris Williams, then 18, found a new home among blacks in Mississippi where he became an activist.

What did he learn? Williams and others with similar experiences gave this minority report.

You learn to imagine

He was a raised in a small town in Missouri and went on to become a Rhodes Scholar, a U.S. senator and a presidential candidate. But some of the most important lessons Bill Bradley learned came on the basketball court as a player for the New York Knicks.

Bradley joined a team dominated by black superstars such as Willis Reed, Earl "The Pearl" Monroe and Walt Frazier. Off the court, though, the team's hierarchy was reversed.

"When I was a rookie, I was getting a lot of offers for commercials and my black teammates, who were better, were not getting any," he says.

Bradley got something else that he says was invaluable -- a glimpse into the private lives of black people. He shared rooms, meals, bus rides and long conversations off the court with his black teammates. He saw the constant racism they experienced and how it fed their anger.

He knew what it felt like to be outsider because he had become one.

In a speech he once gave to the National Press Club, Bradley said:

"I better understand distrust and suspicion. I understand the meaning of certain looks and certain codes. I understand what it is to be in racial situations for which you have no frame of reference. I understand the tension of always being on guard, of never totally relaxing ...

"I understand the loneliness of being white in a black world."

Bradley eventually made the NBA Hall of Fame. He's become one of the country's most insightful voices on race.

"Race relations are essentially exercises in imagination," he says today. "You have to imagine yourself in the skin of the other party. So that means if you're white, you have to understand certain realities."

Other white sojourners in a black world say you have to learn to take advice or even orders from a person of color.

Every couple of weeks I looked in the mirror to remind myself that I was white.

Chris Williams, a civil rights activist who lived for two years with black families in Mississippi

One man had to do both to stay alive.

When Williams went to Mississippi in 1964, he had to live with black families because many local whites detested Freedom Summer volunteers. They taught him how to become a part of their community and protected him. One black man saved his life by pulling him away from a white mob.

Williams says white Freedom Summer volunteers had to abandon the notion that they were there to rescue black people. They weren't going to Mississippi to become civil rights leaders, an organizer told them.

"He said the civil rights leaders were already there; you go down there and help them," recalls Williams, now a retired architect who still lives in his boyhood home in Vermont. "He said that they know what needs to be fixed, and they'll tell you."

You learn what people really think

The Public Religion Research Institute recently caused a stir when it released a poll that said three-quarters of white Americans have no nonwhite friends. Some commentators invoked the survey to explain why some whites seem clueless about racial sensitivities: They know no people of color to give them a different perspective.

White minorities in black communities say they have no problem hearing another racial perspective. They often hear more than they should.

The Rev. Curtiss Paul DeYoung says black people became so familiar with his presence when he joined an all-black church in Harlem and later attended the predominately black Howard University in Washington that some called him a "white Negro."

"People didn't change who they were when they talked to me," says DeYoung, now director of the Community Renewal Society in Chicago, a faith-based group created to eliminate race and class divisions.

"When you get into racially mixed situations, we change who we are and clean up our thinking in mixed settings," he says.

Black people let it rip in front of him, though. Once during a class at Howard, a black classmate talking about the country's first settlers declared that "all white people are criminals."

"I quickly understood that this was not a personal attack on me," DeYoung says. "People were very welcoming to me personally, but she was talking more about institutional racism."

DeYoung met a black student at Howard who he later married. They remain married today and have two adult children.

"The woman who made that comment in class found out later that I was engaged to my wife and came up to me and said, 'Welcome to the family,' '' DeYoung says.

Other whites who spent time in all-black communities say they started noticing remarks from their white family and friends that were just as raw.

Shaffer, the white student who was bused, says she realized that her father called black kids "pickaninnies" and her brother called Puerto Ricans "Spics." She heard whites talk about "Jewing" prices down and warning others to wipe a soda can before drinking because "you don't know if a black person touched it."

"I just started noticing this subtle and casual racism that nobody around me questioned," says Shaffer, who is now an activist and director of faculty development at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio.

I understand the loneliness of being white in a black world.

Bill Bradley, former U.S. senator and a Hall of Fame player with the New York Knicks

You see fear

Shaffer picked up on other things as well, such as the fear in some white faces when they moved into a black setting.

When she attended basketball games at her high school, Shaffer says, she would often be only one of two white girls in the crowd when white high school teams visited. It was like a disembodied experience -- she could step outside of her whiteness and watch with bemusement as nervous whites entered her school gym.

"One of the things I noticed is that they weren't actually making eye contact with people on the other side of the court," says Shaffer, who wrote about her experience in an essay entitled "Busing: A White Girl's Tale" for an online magazine, Belt.

"They were in a place where there were more black people than white people and that is not usual for white people," she says.

Some white minorities become more afraid of what they see inside themselves.

When DeYoung was in college, he decided he was going to introduce himself to an attractive white freshman he spotted. But when he saw that woman walking across campus with two black men, he suddenly lost interest.

DeYoung rummaged through his mental attic to figure out why. The answer humbled him. He was a man who grew up buying the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches and watching his father pastor a multiracial church, but he unearthed something ugly.

Bill Bradley, a former U.S. senator, pals around with his former teammates on the New York Knicks.

"I had fallen prey to the stereotype that a white woman involved with a black man is damaged goods, which goes back to the slave masters who taught people that black men were sexual animals," he says. "I thought, 'I don't have prejudice,' and then one of the oldest stereotypes struck me right in the face."

It can all sound so draining -- checking your motivations, trying not to offend black people. Isn't it easier to just declare as a white person that you don't see race?

DeYoung says that's actually a subtle way of insulting people of color.

"It diminishes people to not see their race and their culture," says DeYoung, who wrote a memoir about his racial journey entitled "Homecoming: A White Man's Journey through Harlem to Jerusalem."

"The reality is that race affects people's lives, and if you can't see race, you can't see the life they've lived."

You don't become an expert on race

There's a scene in the 1998 film "Primary Colors" in which a white Southern political operative tells this to a staid, uptight black campaign worker:

"I'm blacker than you are. I got some slave in me. I can feel it."

That scene captures a character familiar to some blacks: the white person who considers himself an honorary black person because he has a black girlfriend and likes hip-hop music.

Yet white people who spend time in an all-black setting seem to reach another conclusion:

"I don't think I can understand what it means to be black," says Williams, the Freedom Summer volunteer who joked that he forgot he was white. "It's much more than being a minority. It's a whole history."

That's something Joshua Packwood learned when he became the first white valedictorian at Morehouse College, a historically black college in Georgia that counts King as one of its graduates.

He says the black students he encountered were everything from punk rockers to hipsters to skateboarders to political conservatives who opposed affirmative action.

"If you ask me to define what black is, I'm not sure I can," says Packwood, who now lives in New York City with his wife and son and is the co-founder of Red Alder, an investment company.

Some whites who found themselves in the minority wrestled with a fear that's familiar to many people of color: Will people ever see past my race?

"I also have to 'prove' myself over and over again," DeYoung wrote in his memoir, "Homecoming." "Some persons of color may never fully trust me because I am white."

Curtiss Paul DeYoung, middle row second from the right, says some classmates called him a "white Negro."

The constant awareness of one's race can be exhausting. DeYoung quoted the theologian Howard Thurman in his memoir:

"The burden of being black and the burden of being white is so heavy that it is rare in our society to experience oneself as a human being."

But sometimes those moments can happen, as DeYoung learned by accident.

One day, DeYoung was looking through a journal he started keeping after he joined the church in Harlem. He noticed that the word "black" rang through every passage: I'm going to this "black church," I'm eating "black food," I'm making "black friends."

He recalled that no one at the Harlem church had ever placed a racial modifier before his name.

"Never once in that entire year did they refer to me as being white," he says. "I was just a member of the congregation. I was a child of God."

DeYoung kept reading and scanned the journal entries that came after he spent more time in the church. He noticed he was still writing about making new friends, listening to gospel and eating good food.

The word "black," however, had disappeared from his journal. They were no longer "the other." He was no longer an outsider.

He was at home.

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Hundreds of dead fish washed up

Environment agents from SEPRONA and biologists from the Institute of Coastal Ecology are investigating the appearance of hundreds of dead fish that were washed up on San Gabriel beach, Alicante.

They were dead on the sand and shoreline amid a strong odour, forcing red flags to be flown to prevent people from swimming in the area.

Officials have collected samples of the water, which was black, and specimens of dead fish have been taken for detailed analysis.

As residents voiced their concerns about a waste spill or pollutants being pumped in the sea, biologists said the deaths could be from natural causes, possibly due to a loss of oxygen in the water from the heat and winds that inhibit the flow of water and therefore fish are unable to breathe.

Head wound 'not urgent'

SAN JUAN resident Massimiliano Licciardello went to A&E when he cut his head on a bathroom mirror.

After the wound was examined and pronounced a non-urgent scratch by a Triage nurse at San Juan Hospital, he was sent to the waiting room. Nearly three hours later and with the wound still bleeding, he left and went to Alicante General instead, Licciardello told the provincial Spanish press.

There they were ‘shocked’ by the deep wound, Licciardello claimed. He was attended to straightaway and left 18 minutes later with four stitches, he said.

When contacted, a San Juan spokesman confirmed the original diagnosis of a non-urgent lesion that was not an open wound and maintained that Licciardello was called two hours after arriving but had left by then.

A dissatisfied Licciardello has now lodged a formal complaint about the treatment he received at San Juan with the regional government’s health department.