Hollande's ex tells all

Valerie Trierweiler writes she was "losing it" after learning of an alleged affair between France's president and an actress.

• Valerie Trierweiler, France's former first lady, describes end of her seven-year relationship


• She says she confronted French President Hollande about affair rumors


• She says she felt "dehumanized" after Hollande took over the presidency


• Excerpts from the new book were published Thursday in a French magazine

(CNN) -- Valerie Trierweiler, ex-partner of French President Francois Hollande, settles some scores in a new book detailing their relationship.

In "Thank You For This Moment," released this week, the former French first lady describes the end of her seven-year romance with Hollande. It fell apart after pictures suggesting a liaison between Hollande and actress Julie Gayet were published in the French tabloid Closer in January.

"I am losing it. I don't want to hear this; I rush into the bathroom. I grab the little plastic bag containing sleeping pills," Trierweiler writes of her reaction to the pictures. She said Hollande snatched the bag of pills out of her hands.

She later spent several days in the hospital, citing stress and fatigue.

French president, first lady split

Trierweiler said she confronted Hollande twice about rumors of an affair, once in March 2013 and again that December.

"I asked him: Swear on my son's head that it's not true and I will never speak of it again," she writes. He swore, she writes, but he also called the rumors "a load of nonsense."

She portrays the French President as a busy man who didn't have time for her anymore. She says she felt "illegitimate" and "dehumanized" after Hollande took over the presidency.

She felt those around the President presented hurdles to the relationship, saying she was told once by a member of Hollande's communication team: "If you want an evening with Francois, you need to pass it through me."

Trierweiler says the French President tried to win her back several times after the split. She describes a man who's constantly afraid to lose.

"He tells me he needs me," recalls Trierweiler in her book. "Every night he asks me out for dinner. He said he would win me back as if I was an election."

Trierweiler and Hollande were never married.

The French newspaper Le Parisien reports that Hollande was not aware of the book and was "dismayed" to hear news of its publication.

This is not the first time that Hollande's private life has been the subject of headlines in French media. In 2007, he ended his relationship with Segolene Royal, now the ecology minister in his Socialist government. French media speculated that the split occurred because of Trierweiler.

The book comes out at a time when Hollande's popularity has sagged.

Excerpts from the book were published Thursday in the magazine Paris Match.

Trierweiler: Learning about Hollande affair was 'like falling from skyscraper'